


Oi!  Shakespeare, NO!

by Batfink



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: 5+1 Things, Cockblocking, First Time, Kissing, M/M, Mild Smut, Protective Crowley, Soft Crowley (Good Omens), Virgin Aziraphale (Good Omens), Virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 07:03:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19848022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batfink/pseuds/Batfink
Summary: Five times Crowley preserved Aziraphale's virginity and one time he most certainly, did not.





	Oi!  Shakespeare, NO!

The kiss was chaste. A mere press of lips before they parted. His Angel blushed all the way up to his hairline. “I'll see you tonight, my dear.” Aziraphale said quietly as the other turned to leave.

“Oi! Toga boy!” Crowley hissed as the object of his Angel's affection passed his hiding place. The man turned confused eyes to him. “You stay away from my Angel.” Crowley snarled.

“Aziraphale?” The man asked.

“Yes. That's him. He's a bloody Angel and I don't want you sullying him.” Crowley growled.

The man looked like he was about to argue so Crowley pulled off his glasses, levelled him with a golden stare and then flashed his fangs, forked tongue poking out. The man's eyes went wide and he ran off, never to be seen again.

Two nights later, Crowley happened (completely by accident of course) across Aziraphale sitting sadly in the corner of a tavern. He spent the rest of the night making him laugh.

\--- 

“Oi! Shakespeare. NO!” Crowley snapped as he saw the bard heading for his Angel's lodging house, a bunch of daisies in his hand.

William frowned. “My dear boy. I thought you were just acquaintances?” He raised an eyebrow.

Crowley scowled. “We are, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna let the likes of you anywhere near him.”

“Me?” William looked offended.

“Yeah you.” Crowley huffed. “He deserves better.”

William looked like he might argue but Crowley snapped his fingers and suddenly, William had an idea for a new play about forbidden love and hurried off to write it down all thoughts of Aziraphale lost from his mind.

Crowley took his Angel out to dinner and they laughed.

\--- 

The next one almost slipped past Crowley unnoticed, well he had been busy. The bastard almost had Aziraphale undressed before Crowley managed to get his wife home.

Aziraphale had been shocked to find out about the wife, but not nearly as shocked as his partner had been to find out he now had a wife.

Thankfully, Aziraphale had been too hurt and angry to listen to his protests that he didn't have a wife and had left town immediately. Crowley had joined him for the trip and as always, made him laugh.

\--- 

This calls for drastic measures Crowley thought, eyeing up the young man that his Angel had become enamoured with. With a snap, he changed his corporation to the female version, all soft curves and smooth lines, his red hair flowing down his back.

The Victorian fashion didn't lend itself to much in the way of exhibitionism, but he did allow himself an ample cleavage that certainly turned a few heads as he approached the young man in a shockingly forward manner.

It didn't take him long to lure the young man to a secluded out of the way spot, even less time for the man to apply his mouth to Crowley's new breast. The things I do for you, Angel. Crowley thought. His actions perfectly timed for Aziraphale to catch them in the act. A well placed fan ensuring he never saw Crowley's face and he certainly didn't wait around long enough to try to get a proper look at him before storming off.

A few hours later, back in his usual form, Crowley casually approached a drunk and somewhat belligerent Angel in a bar and proceeded to make him laugh.

\--- 

The guy had Aziraphale cornered in the bar, bodies pressed close together. Aziraphale's cheeks were flushed and he was giggling softly. Clearly tipsy. The man's hand was gripping his ass as he whispered lewd comments in his ear. Crowley was horrified. He had never expected to find his Angel in a gay bar.

Aziraphale was clutching onto the man's hips, fingers tucked into his belt loops and Crowley snarled. He snapped his fingers and suddenly the man had to excuse himself to go pee.

“That's IT!” Crowley exclaimed marching up to his Angel. “I've taken all that I can stand and I can't stands it no more.” He was vaguely aware he was quoting some film or other but he was too angry to care. He grabbed Aziraphale by the wrist and dragged him from the club. A sea of people suddenly parting to let them through.

“What on earth?” Aziraphale demanded when they burst out onto the pavement at the back of the club. “Unhand me at once.” He jerked his wrist from Crowley's grip. “What is the meaning of this?”

“He's not good enough for you!” Crowley snapped. “None of them have ever been good enough for you.”

Aziraphale stared at him. “Not good enough?” He asked, then paused. “Wait, did you say none of them? Crowley, what have you been doing?”

Crowley flailed under his Angel's steely blue gaze. “I... I had too.” He stammered. “To protect you.” He gripped his Angel's hands and pulled them to his chest. “Don't you get it.” He pleaded. “Humans aren't good enough for you. They're selfish and they die too soon.” He was almost pleading now. “You deserve someone who'll be with you for eternity. Who'll worship you every day.”

Aziraphale's face softened. “Someone like you?” He asked quietly.

Crowley threw up his hands in despair and stalked away. “Don't be daft, Angel. You can do so much better than a lousy demon.”

Aziraphale smiled. “But you are a lousy demon.” He laughed. "Or should I say lousy at being a demon." He cautiously approached Crowley and took his hands. “You're not like the rest of them. You've protected me all these centuries.” He smiled. “You're right. Humans do die too quickly and while I may have been upset at the time. You saved me from greater heartbreak in the years to come.” He reached up and cupped Crowley's cheeks.

Crowley gasped, staring back into his Angel's eyes. He closed his own and missed the moment Aziraphale leaned in. Missed seeing the moment their lips touched, but his hands grasped tightly to his Angel, pulled him in close as they deepened the kiss.

\--- 

Back at the bookshop, in the flat upstairs, Aziraphale finally got to discover what all the fuss was about and Crowley finally got to stop worrying about his Angel's virginity.

“Oh Crowley!” Aziraphale gasped as sharp hip bones collided with his ass. “Thank you for helping me wait for this.”

Crowley's movements stuttered as his brain short-circuited due to the feeling of his Angel clenching around him. “My Angel!” He gasped pressing deeper, running his hands over Aziraphale's soft skin.

“Always.” Aziraphale panted. “Always yours.”

They reached their peak together. Centuries of need and longing washing over them both as they collapsed together under the weight of their love for each other.

“I'm so glad you are my first.” Aziraphale said softly. “And last.”

Crowley smiled. “You're mine too.”

Aziraphale blushed and snuggled closer to Crowley, running his fingers through fiery hair. Crowley squeezed his thigh and drifted off to sleep.


End file.
